Monday, March 29, 2010

Rain is Never an Inconvenience in the South

Although I have lived over 20 years in the South, I still do NOT have the Suthun Mentality that my neighbors have. When it rains, I want to stay inside, where it's warm and dry and I can keep away from the growing armada of mosquitoes standing vigil just outside my door. The True Suthuna makes lemonade. You know, like the old adage, when life rains lemons down on you, make lemonade or something like that.

What I love about this photo is threefold.
1) It's raining. Raining so much, in fact, that the local river has apparently jumped its banks. But the part I like is that to protect the truck, the Intelligent Suthunah has driven it up the front steps, thus the engine is out of the water, and sits high and dry.

2) While waiting out the flood, the Suthun Gentlemen are fishing off the front porch. Fishing and being suthun go hand in hand. Suthunaz spend a lot of time and energy getting out to their favorite fishing hole and well, when the fish are in your front yard, that doesn't mean you should ignore the opportunity.

3) But the real reason I like this shot so much is that it happened on College Street. Ah yes, one of my favorite classes here, Suthun Thinking 101.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Weather in the South. It's one of main reasons people come to the South. While everyone north of the Mason-Dixon is still reeling from yet another snow storm, the South is experiencing Spring. By that I mean the three stages of Spring Weather, namely: Rain, Rain and yes, Rain.

Beginning in March, and not ending til nearly Summer, the South gets rain in regular increments. By the time the last rain has dried, we're getting drenched by yet another storm. Ok, for the most part, they are just your usual Spring Showers, but being at the end of 'Tornado Alley' also means storms that can produce severe weather, including the aforementioned tornadoes. Back in 1998, Nashville had a huge tornado tear across the city causing untold damage.

The real problem with the rains is not the tornadoes, however. It's the moisture itself. A simple leak, left unknown, can give you mold, rust, rot, and all manner of related woes. Each one of these means that the homeowner now has their hands full getting rid of or fixing said woes. Add to that the fact that the rain makes things grow and grow fast, and Summer cannot get her fast enough.

In truth, we only get about 2 weeks of actual spring. Lovely spring like days of mild temperatures and easy breezes before WHAM, the heat and humidity of Summer slam into the South like a fat locomotive. It's these lovely two weeks that I live for. Those days when I can walk in the sunshine, ride a bike and even open the windows in the house allowing those gentle breezes scented with Honeysuckle and kudzu to waft lazily across the transom.

These are truly the best days to live in the South.

Monday, March 15, 2010

The General Lee

With few exceptions, no other vehicle is more associated with the Suthun mentality, its heart and soul (or is it sole? with a Suthunah, one can never tell), than the General Lee. For the uninitiated, the General Lee is a 1968 (and 1969) model Dodge Charger painted ‘Bad Ass Orange’ (that is the actual name of the paint, according to the Manufacturer) and used in the televised saga known as “The Dukes of Hazzard”. This is the ongoing story of a couple of good ol’ boys trying their best NOT to run afoul of the somewhat overbearing and shady local law. The General Lee is also known for jumping incredible heights and objects as a matter of course.

There is something about the ‘local boys’ trying their best to get ahead even in the face of adversity which speaks to us all, including them Nawthunaz. It is the spirit which made our country great and a spirit which will continue to do so.

There are over 320 ‘General Lee’ automobiles out there. That’s the number of cars used during the shows run, and does not count the 24 cars used in making the big budget movie. Most of these cars are owned by collectors, restored to their Suthun gentility with loving hands. Most, if not all, of the General Lee Chargers sport the Confederate Battle Flag across the top. Included as a sort of homage to southern upstarts of eras gone by is the Southern Battle Flag across the hood.

There are many people who think that the paint job itself is enough to make a ‘General Lee’ car, but make no mistake, these are impostors and poseurs! Most notable of these are:

I'd hate to see this one jump anything more than a pothole...

It's easy to tell some poseurs, such as this one, I think it's in the paint color, but i'm not sure.

Monday, March 8, 2010

Hey, Y'all! Watch This!

For some reason, heretofore unknown, the Suthunah has needed to try the untried. To do the undone. To...well, make a fool of himself in attempting the impossible. Now, on the surface this is a noble thought. To extend ones self beyond the known, to take the dare, to prove to the world if not just to ones self that something can be done and done well.

Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Probably because copious amounts of non-light beer are involved in these rash decisions. Probably because the challenge involves laying on a burning sofa while some other inebriated sole attempts to take your picture with a camera phone. It fairly boggles the mind.

I mean, let's examine the situation. Why is there a burning sofa? Why is no one putting out the sofa fire? If the sofa is meant to burn, as in a bonfire, why was it lit only once or twice at the top instead of, say...the bottom? What sort of personal challenge is there in laying on a burning sofa? Is he attempting to set some sort of record? Ah, now we have his hand...yeah, beer.

It comes as no surprise to me, the Suthun Wanna-be. Just this last weekend, I attempted to carry an 80 lb piece of equipment from the car to the house. I got up the three steps to the door and found the unwieldy piece off kilter and soon it was cascading down the front steps, pulling me along with it. Yes, my brain was screaming "Let go let go, you foole, you foole!*" but that didn't seem to have any effect.

My body was pulled airborne by the heavy box, and I landed on the corner square in the small of my back, and rolled to the ground where my thoughts were more to the case of "PAIN! PAIN!" All I could guess was that I had broken my back. And miraculously, no beer was involved in this altercation.

My back is fine, just a bit swollen. And the irony of the fact that I was carrying EXERCISE equipment is not lost on me. Was I daring the dare? No comment. Did I have something to prove? No comment. Was I being simply a Suthunah with hopes and dreams of grandeur? Gee, isn't that what this blog is all about?

*yes, Foole, with the requisite extra "e" to give a higher degree of difficulty to this stupid foolish act.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Spring is in the air, and on the front lawn.

There was a time when I wanted to buy an automobile junkyard in some northern territory just to rename it "Southern Lawn Ornaments." I think I could charge a higher price for them too.

Suthunas love to work on their cars. It almost seems as if they enjoy this more than their Nawthun counterparts, but I have no real proof, other than a growing sense of pride in being one of the 'good ol' boys.' What makes Suthunaz interesting is that a car can be up on blocks and "in repair" for years. Worse, this auto or perhaps "sculpture," sits on the front lawn for all to see. Unsightly? Yes.. Uniquely Suthun? Oh heck yes.

For the longest time I had an old Honda Accord in my car port up on blocks. I kept saying I'd get it repaired sometime soon but the weeks turned into eons. I finally gave the car away just to clear out some space. Ok, so the city also had a new ordinance that any car on your property, running or not, had to be licensed. I wasn't bout to pay $50 to license a broken down old Honda so I gave it away. (Total value: about $1.95)

I'm glad to have the carport back, now I just have to evict the spiders and throw out more junk. It's gonna be a long summer.