Monday, July 26, 2010

Mud and the Suthunah

Last time we spoke, we discussed the enjoyment of water in the Suthuna'z life. We also discussed those things which go well with water sports such as scantily clad young women. There is another 'go-with' which must be discussed when we bring up the fascination, nay NEED for refreshing water and the resulting play of the Suthunaz life. Something which goes hand in hand with water, namely Mud.

Suthunaz love the mud. I'm pretty sure that the love of mud came from the amount of rain known to fall in most southern regions (though to be sure, Mud Games and Mud Events are found as far north as Oregon!) Mud has the same cooling effect as water, and when it dries gives you even better protection from the UV rays of the sun! Sort of like an SPF 1000 - but you have to make sure that the mud covers EVERYTHING - and I do mean everything. The sun does NOT care what it burns.

Mud events can be mere mud play, wrestling (both male AND female) and even football played in a mud field. There's racing of fossil fueled powered vehicles of every type from golf carts to monster trucks. In South Korea they have an annual Mud Festival (which just ended this last weekend). The Mud Festival was created when they found that mud events bring in more money than agriculture.

But, perhaps my favorite of the Mud Events (here in the South) is the Diving and Belly Flop competitions. Open to everyone and anyone, entry is limited to one's own daring and ability - daring and fearlessness are perhaps the key facets of the 'Mud Diver.' Here, form and style is less as important than shock and awe. Some guy with a set of 6 pack abs jumping off a platform and nailing a half gainer with a twist may get a handful of applause, but a group of folks standing in the forest watching some guy with a beer barrel stomach land face first in a pond of mud elicits screams, laughter and the ever present "Oh, that's gotta HURT!" More than just thunderous applause, the diver gets a beer!

People may wonder at the enjoyment of mud, and the games we play in the mud, but the Suthunah has the right idea. Enjoy life. Enjoy the earth. Drink Beer.

Geez, I love living in the south.

Monday, July 12, 2010

Wanna Git Yer Picher Made?

Suthunaz love the water. They love boats, jet skis, and swimming. In the heat and humidity, having a local spot to cool off can raise the value of your home.

Here in Nashville, we have hundreds of acres of water in the form of not one but two reservoirs holding untold millions of gallons. Every Weekend in the hot summers you can find the reservoirs covered with all manner of boats, jet ski and other pleasure craft and you can find the man made beaches which line these reservoirs filled with all manner of scantily clad young ladies and their admirers. Like that picture above would seem to hold testament to. (I'm told that if you study the picture long enough, a man appears to the left....)

Seriously, let's take a look at this guy. I mean, at first glance, you wonder if he's homeless and maybe just wandered up into the shot as someone was taking a pic. He's not really dressed for a day at the beach...Ok, so fine, he's not wearing a shirt. Is that beach ready? And what is he carrying? It has the look of a garbage bag holding recently cleaned up road kill. About to grill lunch perhaps? Oh let's not go there.

But, if we study this pic, you can see that the girls may not have been the taker's original intent. The center of the shot is not the man nor the girls but someplace in between. It's kind of like someone was taking a picture of their grandpa and things sort of went awry. I can see it like this: "Hey, Grandpa*, before we tho' that possum on the coals, lemme get a picture!" Grandpa stops and holds a pose - Grandpa is no fool, he knows ol' bubba doesn't have a movin' picture camera, so he's not about to be gamboling about whilst the poor boy tries to focus - and across the camera's vision walk a couple of the local ...local... well for lack of a better phrase, we'll say 'Girls'. Bubba is taken by their suthun demeanor, their photogenic qualities - ok so he sees they got big hooters - and before he can snap the shot of grandpa, the camera tracks a bit to the direction of the ladies - seemingly all by itself. Click. Got it.

Grandpa will later say "Dang it, them girls nearly blocked the shot, Bubba!" and Bubba will smile and shake his head, "Yeah, Grandpa, I nearly missed the shot entirely."
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*In the South, one's grandfather is usually referred to by a nickname such as 'paw-paw' or maybe 'pa-paw' (with the short a as in 'pack') I use the generally accepted 'Grandpa' since that is what I called my grandfather and additionally, I refuse to let my grandkids call me anything which may sound like a poorly tuned motorboat. I prefer Grandpa, but will also answer to G-Pa, G-Man and "Thou Grandest of Exalted Elders" - though to be honest, I doubt I'll ever get any of them to use the latter.

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Please Help - Don't Give.

I love this picture. This guy is at least honest. I took this picture myself right outside of downtown Nashville as I was headed home one day. You see Nashville has an inordinate amount of homeless. Which begs the obvious question: Why?

Suthunaz are generous people - to a fault. This in and of itself causes problems here in the south. First, you have the great weather. Ok, so it gets cold and it gets hot, but the mean temperature for Nashville is better on average than a lot of Mid South cities. Then, you get the fact that there is a high number of churches here. Many of the larger churches have 'giving' programs of their own. In fact, there are so many of them that a homeless person in Nashville can eat six - yes, that's right, SIX (6) times a day! That's over 50 group style meals in the Nashville area each and ever week. Not to mention a plethora of other state, city and private sector agencies who are more than happy to help.

The only problems come when some 'non-suthun' homeless get the idea that they can get even more from the locals. So we get a lot of "Hey, got a dollar?" (Why, yes, I do, because I have a JOB!) Ok, so I don't tend to get belligerent - usually - but it can be problematic especially when we're trying like heck to get tourists back after the flood. (You remember the flood, right? Was in all the papers...)

So, anyway, the downtown partnership of Nashville has come up with a nifty saying to keep the locals from feeding this indigenous group of homeless..."Please Help - Don't give!" Neat, huh? In order to help the situation, they are asking the locals not to give money to the homeless. They can get help in many agencies, so they really shouldn't need handouts.

I find it almost humorous that in order to help, my local suthunaz are being exhorted NOT to help. The south just gets more and more interesting.

Learn more by clicking the nifty sign below: