Monday, May 10, 2010

A New Suthun Tradition?

There is a new tradition sweeping our great nation, and it seems to have roots in the south. As I was standing in line waiting for my limousine, I got into a conversation with a lady about where her son asked to go for his 10th birthday. The answer elicited a few smiles, but when she said they TOOK him there, I nearly fell down. Where? HOOTERS.

Now, for those of you not in the know, or who live under a rock, Hooters is a restaurant chain born in Georgia, named after a slang term for a woman's breasts their OWL mascot, who's name is Dr. Hootie (owls 'hoot', hence the name.) That alone is not the questionable reference. The problem is that Hooters has these young nubile strippers waitresses who wear a uniform consisting of a pair of orange shorts and a rather tight fitting tee shirt (See reference shot above.) Since these young nubile strippers waitresses cannot help but show off their mammalian attributes (clever phrase, huh?) because of the aforementioned tight fitting tee shirt, one is immediately struck by the fact that the reference to HOOTERS may, in fact, refer to those same mammalian attributes. In addition, the restaurant is named Hooters, not Hooties or even more grammatically Hootie's. But that in itself is not the issue here. Not today anyway. (And just what is DR. Hootie a Doctor of, anyway? The quick guess is plastic surgery...but I I often do...)

It appears that a growing number of Suthunas are taking their pre-pubescent and teen aged males to this 'restaurant' for their celebrations and not just birthdays, either. New Drivers License? Head to Hooters! Little League Win? Take the Team to HOOTERS! First pair of Big boy Pants? Uh...Hooters?

Even this alone would seem only 'smirkable' by most standards, especially considering that Hooters does, in fact, make some good fare. (Hot Wings any one?) BUT it is the obligatory PHOTO OP with the well endowed stripper waitress(es) which gets me wondering "Exactly what are we teaching our kids today?' Now, we've probably all seen those pictures of the Frat Boy Wanna-Bees with the half empty mug of Non Light Beer standing next to the aforementioned strippers waitress, AND I'm sure that Bubba (No, Carl, not you) wants to have a photo with the tightly-tee-fitted strippers waitress, but why do we have to do that with little Timmy? I mean, let's take a look at the evidence, shall we?

This guy looks to me to be under driving age, and the kind of kid you see out mowing lawns. By the look on his face, he knows darned well why they named the place Hooters.

Yes, I had to edit the photo, due to the age of these kids as well as the incredibly large and inappropriate smiles on the faces of the kids at the right.

And it's obvious that this kid really doesn't care what the name of the place is. He's not trying to read the strippers waitress's name tag!

Now, these two appear to have SOME idea of what's going on, but seem incredibly uncomfortable in so doing.

I've saved this one for near the end. It appears as if the girl(?) on the left is patiently putting up with the photo op, and the guy on the right is all for it. BUT, let's add into that the celebration itself. They've been awarded something there...look close...YES, it's a bottle of Corona Extra - that's right, what looks to be a QUART BOTTLE of Imported Beer! Just what two little tykes need - and the obligatory photo op with a couple of young nubile< strippers waitresses...

I'll leave you with one last photo, the one that really makes you wonder why there is no licensing procedure for Parenthood...

Heck, even the kid seemssurprised at the turn of events.

I also want to point out what I had to endure to find all these photos. You cannot imagine the kinds of photos that pop up when you type the word "Hooters" into a search engine. (I should have expected it, I suppose...) I slogged through them all, for you, my fans....It was hard work, but someone had to do it.

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