Monday, July 12, 2010

Wanna Git Yer Picher Made?

Suthunaz love the water. They love boats, jet skis, and swimming. In the heat and humidity, having a local spot to cool off can raise the value of your home.

Here in Nashville, we have hundreds of acres of water in the form of not one but two reservoirs holding untold millions of gallons. Every Weekend in the hot summers you can find the reservoirs covered with all manner of boats, jet ski and other pleasure craft and you can find the man made beaches which line these reservoirs filled with all manner of scantily clad young ladies and their admirers. Like that picture above would seem to hold testament to. (I'm told that if you study the picture long enough, a man appears to the left....)

Seriously, let's take a look at this guy. I mean, at first glance, you wonder if he's homeless and maybe just wandered up into the shot as someone was taking a pic. He's not really dressed for a day at the beach...Ok, so fine, he's not wearing a shirt. Is that beach ready? And what is he carrying? It has the look of a garbage bag holding recently cleaned up road kill. About to grill lunch perhaps? Oh let's not go there.

But, if we study this pic, you can see that the girls may not have been the taker's original intent. The center of the shot is not the man nor the girls but someplace in between. It's kind of like someone was taking a picture of their grandpa and things sort of went awry. I can see it like this: "Hey, Grandpa*, before we tho' that possum on the coals, lemme get a picture!" Grandpa stops and holds a pose - Grandpa is no fool, he knows ol' bubba doesn't have a movin' picture camera, so he's not about to be gamboling about whilst the poor boy tries to focus - and across the camera's vision walk a couple of the local ...local... well for lack of a better phrase, we'll say 'Girls'. Bubba is taken by their suthun demeanor, their photogenic qualities - ok so he sees they got big hooters - and before he can snap the shot of grandpa, the camera tracks a bit to the direction of the ladies - seemingly all by itself. Click. Got it.

Grandpa will later say "Dang it, them girls nearly blocked the shot, Bubba!" and Bubba will smile and shake his head, "Yeah, Grandpa, I nearly missed the shot entirely."
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*In the South, one's grandfather is usually referred to by a nickname such as 'paw-paw' or maybe 'pa-paw' (with the short a as in 'pack') I use the generally accepted 'Grandpa' since that is what I called my grandfather and additionally, I refuse to let my grandkids call me anything which may sound like a poorly tuned motorboat. I prefer Grandpa, but will also answer to G-Pa, G-Man and "Thou Grandest of Exalted Elders" - though to be honest, I doubt I'll ever get any of them to use the latter.

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