Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Pocket Knives and Multi Tools

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.  In other words, I had to go under the house for a couple of projects this last weekend.  For those new readers who don't  know, I hate going under the house. I'd rather attend a Justin Beiber concert than go under my house! I'd rather have knitting needles run through my eyes than go under my house.  In fact, I'd rather have knitting needles run through my eyes while at a justing Bieber concert than go under my house!  Get the idea?

There is usually some special project that  has accumulated which requires me to do something down in the bowels of my abode but also would cost an arm and a leg to get someone ELSE to crawl under there and well, I'm not about to do that. That means, of course, yours truly gets to do it.  My joy knows no bounds.  

So, in honor of MLK Day, it would seem, I gathered together my tools and materials and ventured into the dark, dank under world of the crawl space under my house.  I had to run a couple of new cables for cable TV and I had also planned a couple of other things - I never go under the house with just one project.  

So, there I was, under the house.  Can you imagine it? With all the pipes in the way, the uneven hard rocks under my knees, and enough dust to do a remake of the Mummy (the one with Brendan Frasier and the sandstorm. Yes, sand and dust are not the same, but just go with it, ok?) There's darkness, very little workspace, and me.  

As I am moving around, laying out cable and spraying foam about to keep mice out, I notice that there is one of those big soft air tubes connecting one of the vents, which is sagging down.  I also note that the aluminum strap which is supposed to hold it up is broken.  I'm always glad to fix things when I find them while under the house, and reach for my big multi-tool to see if I can fix it. Anguish: I left it out in the shed and I'm not about to crawl out just to go get it.  

The Southern Handyman (read: homeowner) must always be prepared, however and that's when I realized that I had my pocket knife.  It's one of those big red Swiss Army Knives by Victorinox and I carry it everywhere, including, it would seem - under the house! All I need to do is pull a screw out of the beam and then put it back, holding the aluminum strap in place.  I even paused to take a picture of the whole thing.  (Yeah, I had my camera phone with me too!) 

The knife made short work of the screw and I was back to crawling all over in the dirt and dust.  The only easy thing about this is that it was cold this weekend and the spiders were hiding.

Small blessings.  Pocket knives and sleeping spiders.  Under the house, in the South.  
Now, I had better go take some more pain killers, I ache all over...

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