Wednesday, November 7, 2012

What Can We Call These?

It's here somewhere...I know it...
Halloween just passed, and what with all the ghoulies and goblins running around the neighborhood, I didn't notice that there was something else more sinister at work. It didn't even seem evident until this last weekend.  Y'see, this last weekend, I finished my latest household project, a set of handrails on the front porch.  

A couple of weeks ago, I carefully dug four holes next to the porch and set four posts into cement. Yes, Me, working with cement -and doing a mighty fine job of it, too, but that's not the problem.  (My brother Bubba the retired English Teacher will fairly swoon at the proper use of a comma instead of a semicolon in the last sentence, and I'm happy to do it to him.  Digressing, yes, as always.) 

The problem was or is as it always is when I am working on projects of this nature.  It goes like this: I put the posts in cement and now that the cement is set, I'm ready to finish.  This last Saturday I picked up the final two pieces of wood for the handrails.  Careful cutting and positioning and I'm ready for the special deck screws I know I have left over from a big project.  

But I can't find them.  

I'm pretty sure this is not the usual, 'Where did I put those?' No, it wasn't me who misplaced them. This is something more sinister.  I looked in all the places I would have put a box of screws - a special plastic box of 100 that I purchased some time ago and I KNOW I didn't finish the box.  They should be there, right where I left them.

Something took them. 

No. Seriously, hear me out.  Someone, or ...Some THING, took them. I know it. They were here, I remember putting the box on the shelf in the shed where I have decided to store all my fasterners   (Screws, Nails, Staples, bobby pins and what not..) 

If this were Ireland, I'd know it was leprechauns.  If this were Scandinavia, I'd say tomten, but we're here in Southern USA. Nashville. So, it must be some little creature who steals things like this and places them someplace I just can't see them.  I've looked and can't find the screws anywhere..well, I can't see the little Tomte-chauns, either, but that's to be expected.  

So, now along with the missing screws, I have to figure out a name for these little Southern Lepra-tomte-gremlin critters and I just don't have the time.  And since I know you're wondering, Yes, I went out and purchased yet another box of screws to finish the project.  It's nice. Handrails for the front porch.  Gonna paint them next weekend.  (I should rename this blog Marv Digresses, or better yet: Reader's Digress...ok, where were we?) 

Got a name for these critters?  Let me know.  (Something tells me if we find their name, we can control them and I might get my box of screws back.) 

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