Beer Party!

Standing in the line at the grocery store the other day when my wife surprised me by picking up a big beer.  And, I do mean big: one of those massive Australian lagers that took both hands to pick it up and hand it to her.  Now, I hear what you're thinking:  my lovely wife, buying beer. Double Ewe Tea Eff!

That night, she took the massive can of brew out into the garden and returned with it empty.  So, I'm thinking my wife has a drinking problem.  Well, actually there's no problem, she drank it without spilling so there's that.  In actuality, my wife was after snails.  That's right, snails. 

A couple of months ago, we replanted the front garden (yet again) with new plants.  Unfortunately, they began getting chewed up by snails almost immediately. Zounds! I shouted. Get the salt! Get the chemicals!  Get the garlic butter! (Oh wait...)

My wife, the consummate natural gardener, eschewed chemicals (and garlic butter) for the more natural approach.  Beer.  You see, the snails are attracted to the beer like a college freshman to a kegger!  (Though not for the cheerleaders they hope to see, but for the yeast in the beer.) My wife positioned 4 shallow dishes in the garden and then filled them each with beer.

(Green and red dishes...very festive!)

In the middle of the night, the snails crawl toward the beer, fall into the pool of brewski goodness and drown.  (A moment of silence for the snails.)  The only bad part is that once the snails die, they attract flies by the boatloads, so the dishes have to be switched out regularly.  

Took my wife 4-5 nights of beer parties for us to finally see fewer and fewer snails in the dishes come morning. It also took a second trip to the store for a three-pack of tall boys.

Ain't no party like a Beer Snail Party!