Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Is It Hot Enough For You?

As I'm sure I've said once or twice, and to which this blog is dedicated, I love living in The South (yes, with the requisite capital 'S.')   I love most everything about it.  However, there is one thing about the South that I do not like and that is the heat. Summer heat in the South will make you imagine what the surface of the sun must be like.

More than that, it's also me.  Growing up in Colorado, my body was originally geared for cold.  If there is no frost on the window I'm not happy.  The wife and I have argued more than once about the setting on the thermostat. She being from Arizona likes it warm. Me: Cold.   (A digital thermostat only added to the fire, so to speak, as we now can argue over one degree.)  

The temperature outside today was 105 degrees.  One Hundred FIVE Degrees! Oh yes, I'm sure the heat is much worse where you are, but give me a chance here.  In the Rockies, a hot day is 90 degrees, maybe 95 but 105? Holy GuacaMoley!  If I had a fever of 105 they'd be digging a hole to put me in!  I've debated once or twice seeing if I could cook an egg on the driveway, but I just don't want to go out there.  Or waste an egg.  

But more than the heat, you got that Suthun Humidity.  Sometimes it's so humid, I feel like I need a snorkel to get to the car!  When it's that hot outside, and you got that humidity, stepping out the front door is like being hit with a hot towel.  Immediately you feel like you just stepped out of a shower.  The coolness of your skin causes the high humidity to condense and soak through everything. Don't even think about wearing more than one layer.   In only minutes you feel like you've been out there for days.  

It's just as well, I can't seem to do anything anyway because all my tools are too hot to touch. The Shed feels more like a sauna or better yet a steam-bath.  The only good thing about this heat is that the lawn doesn't need mowing as much which means the Lawn Wars are postponed due to weather!  

And then there's Bubba. Neighbor Bubba walks around in this weather like it's a temperate Spring Day. He wears a pair of overalls over a light cotton tee-shirt, and he looks like he's enjoying himself as he works on his car or pushes a wheelbarrow around the backyard.  Bubba is a real Suthunah, which is more than I'll ever be.  True suthunahs live for the heat, thrive on the heat, and perhaps even work outdoors in the heat.  

Me?  Turn down the thermostat, close the dang door and bring me another glass of ice water.  I'm not coming out til November.  

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