Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Lawn Ranger Rides Again!!

It's that time again.The rains let up and the air became cool and the grass grew forth. Weeds grew forth too. It is the time of year to dust off the fossil fuel powered tools and dig into the tool shed. It is time for the Lawn Ranger to ride again!!

I can almost hear the Lone Ranger Theme playing as I throw wide the doors to the big wooden shed where I keep the Lawn Beast. Sadly, I don't ride the beast, I walk behind it, but that doesn't keep me from wearing a green mask and calling my cat Tonto. Humming the William Tell Overture as I pour in the gas and pull the rope, the Turf War has begun! (Ok, so I really don't have a green mask, but the visual is a killer, isn't it?)

I really love working on the lawn, though many times I can barely work in the heat and humidity of the South. Days like this, a beautiful 72 degrees, I actually enjoy the outside. Looking up at the cloudless blue sky as I walk easily along behind the lawn mower somehow makes me feel that maybe I am a Suthunah. That lawn mower runs almost by itself as I follow it across the lawn, back and forth...

Then, it's done. Front and back. Short work and no heat stroke. What now? The heat of the summer is still a few days off, so let's have at it. Ok, how about cleaning out the gutters? They catch those nifty helicopter seeds and if I don't clean them out regularly things begin to grow. Then..what else? I couldn't believe it. All in all I got the lawn mowed, the back driveway swept of leaves and junk from the winter, covered the garden in garden fabric, cleaned out the gutters, cut more branches from the big tree in the front yard so they don't keep hitting me in the head when I mow and even dug up two (yes, that's right - TWO) bushes out front of the house. They were old and small but I am big and strong. Quite a weekend all in all.

Neighbor Bubba may look askance at me when I mention my cats or my dream of an electric pickup, but NO ONE can fault my first Battle of the Summer Turf War 2011.

And with a "Hearty Hi Yo Silver, the Masked man of the turf heads into the setting sun! The Lawn Ranger Rides Again"

"Who was that masked man, Pah Pah?"
"We may never know, Billie. We may never know."

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