Southern people are family oriented. Anytime there is a gathering, it's always a family gathering. Big families or little families, it's an important connection. And it's amazing to me to see several generations of the same family all living in the same little holler* and seeing each other every day. I grew up in a close family, but we now live in different parts of the country and rarely actually see each other face to face.We communicate a lot, but distance keeps it down to emails and social media. Even if we had only landlines and snail mail, we would regularly connect. I know this. Family is important.
Which makes it all the more confusing to hear stories of families who don't speak to one another. To me this is hard to understand. I hear stories all the time about "Oh I haven't spoken to my brother since he broke my pen in the 3rd grade." or "She wore my blouse and stained it and I haven't spoken a word to her since." Of course I'm making light of this with insignificant examples. To me, regardless of the transgression, regardless of the affront, there has to be a way in which we stay in communication. I've had cross words with my family and yet we still stay in touch. We live at opposite ends of the country but we still do what it takes to stay a family.
30 years ago, I had the misfortune of attending my great aunt's funeral. She was one of 11 children and was the last of her siblings. I remember her saying "Well, there's only me now." Without family, she was feeling lost. Most of them had lived close their whole lives. AND they stayed in constant contact. (This, before cell phones and social media!) She died less than a year later. The connection to family is life giving, life sustaining, important beyond your-my-their needs or wants. Do whatever you can do keep that connection from being lost. This is why we're here, to be part of that family part of that connection, part of that love.
Look at those people who pop up on the news, relatives of some mad bomber or murderer. There they are, supporting their kid, their brother, their family, even after he/she's brought down the full weight of the media and the world on them. Why? Family. The ties that bind. A connection that cannot, should not be denied. It allows them to say "We love you in spite of what you've done, what we've done, what's been done; and we're beside you regardless of those events."
30 years ago, I had the misfortune of attending my great aunt's funeral. She was one of 11 children and was the last of her siblings. I remember her saying "Well, there's only me now." Without family, she was feeling lost. Most of them had lived close their whole lives. AND they stayed in constant contact. (This, before cell phones and social media!) She died less than a year later. The connection to family is life giving, life sustaining, important beyond your-my-their needs or wants. Do whatever you can do keep that connection from being lost. This is why we're here, to be part of that family part of that connection, part of that love.
Look at those people who pop up on the news, relatives of some mad bomber or murderer. There they are, supporting their kid, their brother, their family, even after he/she's brought down the full weight of the media and the world on them. Why? Family. The ties that bind. A connection that cannot, should not be denied. It allows them to say "We love you in spite of what you've done, what we've done, what's been done; and we're beside you regardless of those events."
Why we choose to cut off a family member is not as important as realizing that the connection is lost. Be it a blood relation of sister, brother, mother, father or cousin or the family and extended family, adopted brothers, children, step fathers, step children, the list goes on. Love does that. I would say "Blood does that" but we all know that true family goes beyond blood. Love does not cut ties. Love doesn't hold a grudge. Love doesn't determine who's worthy or not. At least it shouldn't. It doesn't matter what happened in the past. Leave it there. Create new memories now and in the future before it's too late. When you or they are gone, there is no going back and rekindling the love you once had.
And if you're the one that broke the connection, there is hope. You see that connection is still there, still waiting for you. Regardless of what you've done, or said, or felt or thought, family is family.
And if you're the one that broke the connection, there is hope. You see that connection is still there, still waiting for you. Regardless of what you've done, or said, or felt or thought, family is family.
I could fill this little blog post with all manner of quotes both biblical and secular about how family is above all; forgiveness is more important than anything but the one thing that matters is that you need that person, those people, in your life. You need it, they need it we all need it. No matter how large of a transgression, no matter of what was said, Familial Love conquers all. That connection stands far and above any misunderstanding you may have. Look past it, look at the love.
There is no time like the present to reconnect.
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*In the south east mountains of the united states holler is used instead of hollow; a small rising valley region between two hills or mountains;often containing a creek or other fresh water source.
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