Much like elsewhere in the US, houses for sale in the south mean several things. 1) Strange people coming through your house while you are not there; 2) that silly sign in the front lawn; and 3) having to keep your home 'show ready' all the time.
But it's not #2 or #3 above that drive me the most crazy. Yeah, it's the people that come through the house while I'm not home. Here is a quick reference list of things NOT to do when you visit some one's home while considering whether or not to buy it.
- Lock the damn door when you're leaving! I can't tell you how many times we've come home after a showing to discover the front door unlocked (or open!)
- If the house is owned by an asthmatic, don't wear heavy perfumes, cologne or drench yourself in some smelly eu de toilette before you enter said home. The owner will come home and breathe that in and spend a nice afternoon in the ER thanks to you wanting to smell like a french whore.
- Cigarettes. Same as above, and don't be tossing your lit butt into the yard either.
- Kids. No. Don't bring your kids. They will chase the cats, get into things, open drawers and make messes in other people's nicely kept (read: show ready) homes and the owners will curse your progeny and your lineage when they get home. (And dang it, put the stuff back that they get out!)
- Don't touch. And should the horrible happen, you or your kids has touched and yeah, DAMAGED some valuable item (valuable in our eyes, perhaps, but value it has!) then at least be honest enough to own up to it and pay for it!
- Cats. Ok, we have cats. It's posted in the notes for real estate agents so that they won't bring anyone allergic into a home with cats. So, when you review the home, and you've been inside that home, the reason you didn't buy it cannot be TOO MANY CATS. (Hey, we only have 4!) And besides that, they don't come with the house! They don't pee on the carpet and they don't attack your children so long as you keep the kids from chasing them down!
- The Neighborhood. We live in a very nice neighborhood. You (or your real estate agent) should know which areas of town are and which are not good neighborhoods. They won't bring you into a neighborhood that you don't like. Driving up into some one's driveway and not getting out of the car because 'you don't like the neighborhood' is tantamount to sending back a well done steak because it's well done!
- The Open House. Don't show up at an open house unless you're in the market to buy. I know people from the neighborhood always go to these just to see how a house looks on the inside, but don't be showing up looking for a job, asking people if they need this fixed or that fixed.
I'm sure I'm going have more rants before this is over, so you might want to prepare yourself for that sometime along the way.
Next, the adventure of the new roof!
