I Didn't See You There - Christmas Edition

Well, it's Christmastime in the south and I came across this bad boy and I'm a bit ker-flumoxed.  I totally understand the whole Stocking thing, but the camouflage just eludes me.  What if Santa doesn't see it?  What if you can't find it on Christmas morning?  

Ok, I joke, I chide and in fact, I really like this kind of decoration.  It's not red and green and it's not gold or blue.    It's the color and design of someone who loves hunting.  Or wait, maybe they just like Camouflage?  Yes, I think that IS the ticket.   Seriously, there are more designs of Christmas Stockings than you can shake a Yule Log at, so why not a nice design that makes you feel good?  You want Hooters Girls? Go for it!  You want Crimson Tide? Why not?  You want Camouflage?  It's right there for you!  (Hey, seriously  I found this near to home.  If you want one, let me know...) 

And in fact, here is the actual front of the thing, I turned it over to see the back and took the top pic.  Gotta love the 'leather' there at the top, with the 'embossed' deer emblem.  Yes, Christmas in the South.  Camouflaged...It's a southern thing.  

That Pie is Nuts!

One of the things that the South is truly known for is food.  No time is this more evident than at this time of year - Thanksgiving. Along with the Deep fried turkey, and the usual Poke Salad or collard greens, the Southern Thanksgiving is not complete without Pecan Pie. (You can call it 'PEA-kan' or 'peh-KAHN'- it don't make no never-mind to me.) Pecan pie is so important to Southerners that it's on almost every menu in every restaurant from Raleigh to New Orleans. (Pronounce this as 'Nawluns', to be sure. There is no other pronunciation acceptable in the South) 

When I was a kid, one of my father's relatives sent the same gift every year. A big bucket of Pecans. It was her signature gift. When I say bucket, I mean a big cardboard thing (easily 1-2 gallons!) of Pecan halves from a reputable fruit and nut seller. (They are still around, I'm just not about to advertise for them this time of year.) 

My siblings and I would lay waste to that bucket, grabbing handfuls on the way through the kitchen, on the way to watch Star Trek (before it was hip) - but there was so much it would still last at least a month - sometimes more. And now here is my childhood snack fave made into a pie! I swoon, I drool, I reach for a fork!  

What's in this amazingly simple dessert delight?  Pecans (Well, duh!), but the rest is just corn syrup, eggs, sugar and vanilla. Mix it all together and pour into a pie crust. Bake. Eat. Repeat. It seems like a simple recipe, and yet Southern cooks each have their own special recipe, more corn syrup, less sugar, some with less eggs, some with more and most assuredly, some better than others. One such recipe I just found has...let me sit down while I write this as I'm feeling sort of faint ... CHOCOLATE! Yes, CHOCOLATE!  Pecan Pie with chocolate chunks!  Oh lordy, it makes you want some right this moment!

Thanksgiving is right around the corner, and I plan to get me a mess of the aforementioned pie - with or without chocolate. One Serving at least.   (What's this they put at the bottom of recipes? One pie serves 8-12?  Who's idea is this? One Pie - One serving! And don't forget the whipped cream!) 

Margaritaville Drive-In

There are times I'd like to be able to hop in the car and head out to pick up some ready made drinks for when friends drop by.  I mean, let's be honest here, I'm not about to share my Tennessee Sippin' Whiskey with just anyone who drops by and besides, company always puts me in a 'mixed-drink-and-fruit-with-an-umbrella' kind of mood.  But who wants to do all that work?

If only...

HOLD THE PHONE!  Back up the TRUCK!  That drive-in up there serves not one, not two, but SIX different flavors of Margaritas and if you can look careful at the big photo, you will see that they also have Piña Coladas, Sangria, Mudslides and more!  I may be in heaven!  No, wait - if that is heaven, then heaven is Louisiana and I'm stuck in Tennessee!

To those that don't know, these are only legal in Louisiana and Texas.  Drive-ins are legal in these states in that they sell closed drinks for transportation to a destination (and not for imbibing while you drive.)  Perfect for picking up a couple of cool refreshments on the way home from work, or - as I stated above - for when that special company comes visiting for the Holidays!

Now, if we can just figure out how to get them to deliver to Nashville, I'd really be set.

What Can We Call These?

It's here somewhere...I know it...

Halloween just passed, and what with all the ghoulies and goblins running around the neighborhood, I didn't notice that there was something else more sinister at work. It didn't even seem evident until this last weekend.  Y'see, this last weekend, I finished my latest household project, a set of handrails on the front porch.  

A couple of weeks ago, I carefully dug four holes next to the porch and set four posts into cement. Yes, Me, working with cement -and doing a mighty fine job of it, too, but that's not the problem.  (My brother Bubba the retired English Teacher will fairly swoon at the proper use of a comma instead of a semicolon in the last sentence, and I'm happy to do it to him.  Digressing, yes, as always.) 

The problem was or is as it always is when I am working on projects of this nature.  It goes like this: I put the posts in cement and now that the cement is set, I'm ready to finish.  This last Saturday I picked up the final two pieces of wood for the handrails.  Careful cutting and positioning and I'm ready for the special deck screws I know I have left over from a big project.  

But I can't find them.  

I'm pretty sure this is not the usual, 'Where did I put those?' No, it wasn't me who misplaced them. This is something more sinister.  I looked in all the places I would have put a box of screws - a special plastic box of 100 that I purchased some time ago and I KNOW I didn't finish the box.  They should be there, right where I left them.

Something took them. 

No. Seriously, hear me out.  Someone, or ...Some THING, took them. I know it. They were here, I remember putting the box on the shelf in the shed where I have decided to store all my fasterners   (Screws, Nails, Staples, bobby pins and what not..) 

If this were Ireland, I'd know it was leprechauns.  If this were Scandinavia, I'd say tomten, but we're here in Southern USA. Nashville. So, it must be some little creature who steals things like this and places them someplace I just can't see them.  I've looked and can't find the screws anywhere..well, I can't see the little Tomte-chauns, either, but that's to be expected.  

So, now along with the missing screws, I have to figure out a name for these little Southern Lepra-tomte-gremlin critters and I just don't have the time.  And since I know you're wondering, Yes, I went out and purchased yet another box of screws to finish the project.  It's nice. Handrails for the front porch.  Gonna paint them next weekend.  (I should rename this blog Marv Digresses, or better yet: Reader's Digress...ok, where were we?) 

Got a name for these critters?  Let me know.  (Something tells me if we find their name, we can control them and I might get my box of screws back.)